Respond to the prompts below (one paragraph per prompt; each paragraph should be at least 5 sentences in length). At the top of your posts, include a title that is relevant to your content, creative, and in bold. Draw readers to your post with your title. Within your post, ensure that you use course terminology, demonstrate that you are synthesizing the assigned readings and videos, and use appropriate grammar, spelling, and citations.

Paragraph 1: Select one direct quote from this chapter that you think is particularly interesting. Include the quote in your response (using quotation marks) and a proper in-text citation. Discuss why you think the quote is particularly interesting.

Paragraph 2: Apply at least one aspect (e.g., concept, claim) of the reading to your own life. For example, how might a concept or claim from the reading help you better understand a specific previous experience, improve a particular relationship (e.g., with your partner or friend), or make you communicate differently in a certain context (e.g., with friends)? Please be specific, in-depth, insightful, and detailed.

Paragraph 3: After reading this chapter, and the conversation below, answer the questions here: Andrea and her sister Ellie:
Andrea: What are you working on?

Ellie: The book for French lit – I’m way behind.

Andrea: Can I talk with you for a few minutes?

Ellie: I’m really behind. Can it wait?

Andrea: I promise I’ll be quick.

Eillie: Fine. What?

Andrea: That’s part of it. The way you just said “what?” Like you’re already annoyed.

Ellie: I told you I’m busy. So yeah you’re annoying me.

Andrea: You’re so short with me lately.

Ellie: (trying to lighten the mood)) You’re my sister, you’re supposed to annoy me.

Andrea: But lately it’s been happening a lot. And sometimes get a little out of hand. Like the other night.

Ellie: What about the other night?

Andrea: You tried to throw your alarm clock at me, when we argued about whose turn it was to do the laundry.

Ellie: But I didn’t throw it

Andrea: because it was plugged in.

Ellie: What do you want me to say?

Andrea: I want to know why you’re so angry all the time?

Ellie: (angry and determined) Nothing? I had two exams the next day when you told me I had to do the laundry! What you call nothing is my education, my future. It’s not my fault that you’re too lazy or two much of a jerk to care about your classes or lift a finger around here!

Andrea: This is what I mean. You never used to call me names. You never used to yell. We would talk. I’m afraid to even try to talk to you. And sometimes, I’m sorry not to mention hurt – when I do try.

Ellie: I’m sorry. You’re the only person I have to vent to and sometimes I get a little carried away.

Andrea: More than a little. It seems like we never talk anymore.

Ellie: What are we doing now?

Andrea: Sarcasm doesn’t help. Ellie, I mean really talk – I think we need that. Your classes are a lot harder than mine this semester, it might make sense that you need to release stress.

Ellie: I assume you mean in some other way than throwing objects at your head.

Andrea: Well, yeah. But also in ways that will make you feel better.

Ellie: Yeah, I did feel bad about that the other night. I’m sorry.

Andrea: I am too for not being understanding about your schedule and stress. Maybe if we set aside a time each week to sit down and talk, we could avoid these fights.

Ellie: That makes sense. I do feel like I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore. Let’s plan a lunch date this week.

Think about the different orientations demonstrated by Ellie and Andrea in this scenario. What kind of conflict orientation does Ellie demonstrate? What kind of conflict orientation does Andrea demonstrate? Support your answer.
Identify the responses to conflict that are present in this scenario? Do you see inclinations to exit, neglect, show loyalty, or voice conflict? What consequences result from the conflict responses used in this dialog?
Is meta communication used constructively or unproductively in this example?

Paragraph 4: What conflict script did you learn in your family? Think back to your adolescence and try to remember rules for conflict that your family modeled implicitly and principles of conflict that your family explicitly endorsed.
1. Did people openly disagree with each other?
2. What was said when disagreements surfaced
3. Did your parents suggest it was rude to argue?
4. Did they encourage open discussion of differences? Were there any “rules’ for how to argue?
5. What happened if disagreements were dealt with directly? Was the conflict resolved? What was the climate in the family like after the conflict?
6. How do you currently reflect your family’s conflict script? Now that you can edit family scripts and add your own, how would you like to deal with conflict?

Paragraph 5: Respond thoughtfully to 2 classmates’ posts:
1st Peer’s post:
“1.Assertation
My favorite part of this chapter is: “Assertiveness represents a balance between self-interest and empathy.” because this idea is very interesting because it challenges the traditional understanding of assertiveness. Often, people may understand assertiveness as a self-centered or selfish trait, associating it with strength and insensitivity. However, this passage presents a very different perspective. In this balance, an assertive person is able to express his or her own needs, thoughts, and feelings while also understanding and respecting the feelings and needs of others. This means that assertiveness is not a mere self-centeredness, but an ability to include others and respect them.

2.Win win situation
The practical concept I learned is Win-Win Problem Solving, which centers on the idea of finding a solution that benefits all parties involved, rather than only one party gaining while the other loses. When I deal with conflicts or disagreements with my friends in life, in order not to affect our friendship, I will first express my recognition of the degree of the other party, and express my views rationally, rather than arguing for the sake of arguing. So not only can I express myself reasonably, but I can also not hurt the friendship.This way, you not only communicate effectively but also preserve the integrity of your friendships, fostering win-win outcomes that benefit everyone involved. It’s a valuable skill that promotes harmonious relationships and strengthens bonds with those around you.

3.Paragraph
.A In this scene, Ellie shows conflict tendencies of avoidance and aggression, while Andrea shows conflict tendencies of cooperation and problem solving. Ellie’s conflictual tendencies are reflected in her impatience and emotional reactions to Andrea and her shirking of responsibility. She tries to avoid and evade the problem by placing the blame on Andrea, and her responses are aggressive and emotional. In contrast, Andrea demonstrates a conflictual tendency to cooperate and solve problems. She attempted to have an honest dialog with Ellie, expressing her feelings and seeking solutions to the problem. She offers constructive suggestions in hopes of resolving the conflict through communication and understanding each other’s positions.

B In this scene, withdrawal and aggressive tendencies emerge. Ellie tries to avoid the problem while Andrea tries to solve the problem through communication and understanding. If they continue along their tendencies, this could lead to further conflict and undesirable consequences such as alienation or increased arguing.

C In this example, Andrea’s conflict response is more constructive in that she tries to solve problems and improve their relationship through dialog. Ellie’s conflict response, on the other hand, is more unproductive in that she tries to avoid the problem, puts the blame on Andrea, and displays aggressive and emotional behavior.

4.Apply to family
In my family, people usually express different opinions openly. We are encouraged to speak our minds and to respect the views of others . When disagreements arise, I usually try to express my ideas with respect and understanding and try to reach a consensus or solution. In my family, arguing is considered rude. We were taught to resolve disagreements with respect and understanding, rather than solving problems through arguing or conflict. My parents encouraged open discussion of disagreements and we had rules to ensure that discussions were constructive, such as respecting each other’s opinions, listening to each other, and avoiding accusations and offensive remarks. Dealing with disagreements directly usually leads to problem solving or consensus. Once the conflict is resolved, the family atmosphere usually becomes more relaxed and congenial. I currently reflect some of the conflict scripts I learned in my family, such as respecting and understanding the other person’s point of view and the tendency to try to find common ground and solutions. I would like to continue to respect and understand others’ perspectives, as well as be more open and tolerant of disagreements in order to resolve problems more effectively and maintain a good family atmosphere. I would also like to be more courageous in expressing my thoughts and needs, and to learn to listen to others and respect their positions.”

2nd Peer’s post:
“Cultural Expectations:
1) “Females are typically expected to be accommodating and males to be competitive.” According to chapter 8 there are gender differences. I thought this was particularly interesting because it states that woman’s genetics tend to be more nurturing and men naturally tend to be more competitive. I think it’s very important that it mentions that the cultural expectations for men and women to fit into these unrealistic standards can come with issues. Although there are genetic tendencies it’s important to note that we can not put people in a box. Not all men are competitive and men are capable of being nurturing and vice versa for women. I think this it’s good information to understand human communication but we must keep in mind the danger of a single story and stereotyping. Its good to note tendencies but we must also be sure to not cultivate unrealistic expectations and stereotypes.
In my life…
A concept I’d like to apply in my life is choosing the most appropriate method of conflict resolution. Chapter 8 advises to be open to these 4 methods :

-Consider deferring to the other person.
-Consider compromising

-consider competing

-consider cooperating

I think this is very important to apply in daily life situations like consider deferring to the other person when you are wrong. Although this is difficult to do… when communicating effectively, it’s important to keep and open mind and acknowledge when you are in the wrong. I will try to do this if I get into any argument with my peers family or friends. I also really enjoyed how it said consider competing. This means that when the issue is too important and when the peer is open to listening, when it really matters you can stand up for what you believe to be right. I have a hard time with this and voicing my opinion when it matters but this text is more affirming and I will try to be more assertive when the other person is taking advantage of my non-competitiveness.
Communication Check!
The conversation displays “problem orientation” in this conversation Andrea is addressing Ellie to solve the issue how they don’t talk like they used to. Andrea tries to voice her concerns and Ellie acts like dosn’t know what Andrea is talking about which is neglect. Ellie displays more passive aggressive conflict orientation Andrea displays more assertive behavior. Ellie is passive aggressive because she is subtly aggressive. She displays trivial tyrannizing behavior by doing small things to drive Andrea like calling Andrea names and throwing the alarm clock instead of directly addressing the actual problem. She also uses sarcasm that is not helpful to solving the problem like when Andrea is trying to say how they don’t communicate like they used to and Ellie says sarcastically “then what are we doing now”. Andrea is more Assertive because she clearly but kindly and respectfully tries to solve the problem between her and Ellie without name calling or aggressive behavior. It is clear that Andrea’s intent is for a “win-win” solution. Andrea uses meta communication constructively where Ellie is dismissive and unproductive with her attitude and responses in the beginning but then the communication becomes constructive towards the end and they find common ground and come up with a solution.

Learned conflict
In my family I avoided a lot of conflict and had learned non-assertive behavior. When disagreements surfaced with my parents the rule was don’t argue and the parent was always right. There were not many open discussions we just needed to accept what the parent said and “don’t talk back”. I do not agree with this type of conflict style. I feel like everyone has the right to respectfully voice their opinion. Because of growing up this way I struggle to voice anything at all really but I am getting better at being assertive in an effective and respectful way.”